Hmmm

(dated)May 11th, 2009
I almost died tonight.
The ghetto is too hectic for a guy like me.
People everywhere, crackheads, whores, the worst.
Sketchy people that make me want to have a gun on me all the time.
Nothing really happened to threaten my life, just that vibe.
You don't want to hear this at all, I know, it scares you almost more than it does me.
I happened to ride with my mom to the ghetto of Memphis, so she can collect on money/weed.
Riding through there made so much sense to me, yet didn't too.
In the 'good' sense: I know my little brother (who I've known for only 3 days) needs to get out of here, he can't grow up like me and my sister did, not ever. He deserves the best things there are in life.
In the 'bad' sense: It will take a long year to make that come true.
I know why I came here.
I've decided that I'm going to do everything in my *GOD*given-right to help my mom and sister raise this kid to be the best he can possibly be. He needs a male figure in his life; I think I must be it.
I almost broke down in tears, which I haven't done since I was 7 and had to be separated from my mom, when I came to realize this.
Such a big responsibility.
I always think of what his backup plan will be.
He has a dead-beat dad, and two women who barely even strive by themselves to lean on.
I'm going to be this pillar of strength for Jordan, I WILL give him everything I did not get.
Jordan Reese, this ones for you.